A Fool's Hope

Journal for Christa—

While we wondered through the clearance section of Walmart the weekend after Christmas, I decided to purchase an amaryllis bulb that was half price. It wasn’t much of a risk, only $2.50. The long, cold winters tend to get me down, and I thought a real flower would be nice, if it bloomed at all. Expectations were low, but it was kind of a fool’s hope.

As the New Year started, I planted it in its container and watered it well and set it in the sunshine—where it did nothing, nothing at all. It sat there in its pot for weeks, and a more diligent housekeeper would have tossed it out.

I glared at it a couple of Saturdays and even said to myself, “That isn’t going to grow. I should just throw that away.” But I didn’t—not because I hadn’t given up, but because I was simply too lazy, and I did hope that maybe, just maybe it’d kick in—though logic told me that wasn’t likely. I think I even saw a little mold on the top of the dirt.

Then, one day it looked like maybe something was growing—just ever so slightly, so I watered it. And lo, the next day it looked as though it was alive after all, so I watered it again. (The directions did say to keep it well watered once it started growing.) It’s kind of cool because it grows an inch or so every day. So now, I check it each day when I come home from school, and it’s exciting because I can see it. I can see it, and I know that once it gets tall enough there will be 2 flowers. It will be pretty to see it bloom sometime in February.

I almost threw it away, but I didn’t because of a fool’s hope. It seemed as though nothing was happening. But, it really was, down there under the dirt where I couldn’t see. It was just a fool’s hope—but sometimes a fool’s hope is all it takes.